Having a very specific understanding of who you are as an individual is essential for understanding your behavior, its relationship with others and experiencing growth. Humans are social creatures and it’s common for many people to enjoy the company and appreciation from others. That appreciation, sense of belonging or being valued by others, can go a long way in developing one’s perception of the self. However, being valued by others alone and belonging to a group will not provide an individual with a very specific understanding of who they are at their core. The only way to truly discover yourself is to be alone with only your thoughts, actions and enough stimuli to initiate action oriented responses that will enable one to truly discover the self.
Given that humans are generally social creatures, it’s not uncommon for people to seek out the opportunity to be with others. However, too many people fail to develop a very clear and specific understanding of who they are as individuals because they’ve grown content enjoying the company of others. While that may be fine on the surface, overtime people will fail to gather a true sense of their own individual identity. To gain a true and accurate understanding of the self, people must learn to enjoy their own company; they must learn to appreciate solitude and the opportunity to understand their natural inclination and response to any given stimuli away from the influence of others.
It’s very common for people to want appreciation from their peers. Along with that, it’s not uncommon for individuals who don’t truly know and appreciate themselves to shape their words and behavior for the purpose of fabricating the perception being projected to others. It’s not that people are seeking to deceive, but rather they’re seeking to belong by behaving in ways that have been regularly rewarded and embraced by others or the group to which one belongs. This phenomena can be referred to as “projecting an image.” When people begin to regularly base their behavior and attitudes on the perceived appreciation and approval from others, it’s not uncommon for those same people to become even further disconnected from their truest self.
Having a well defined understanding and appreciation for who you are as an individual is a very desirable and attractive quality. Such qualities allow for others to gain a better perspective and appreciation for who individuals truly are. People can develop both a very specific understanding of the self and a healthy appreciation for being valued by others. However, if people only develop their identity based on an appreciation from others, they will never truly discover themselves. As a result, those people are more likely to experience internal conflict that can very easily lead to discontentment, struggle and self destructive behaviors.
Learning to love yourself, how to enjoy your own company and how to protect, secure and heal yourself will allow individuals to become the best version of themselves. It will allow for individuals to better identify strengths, weaknesses, methods for improvement and methods for measuring growth. Additionally, truly knowing yourself will allow people to better identify others with similar interests for which to create more meaningful connections and relationships. Once people become truly aware of who they are, what they want, where they want to go, how they’re going to get there and who they want to go there with, life becomes a lot easier. When an individual becomes truly aware, nobody will ever know you better than you.
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